


The Birth

by BartonandBishop



Series: The forbidden romance of Dobby and Gollum [2]
Category: Gremlins (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Birth, C-Section, Crack Treated Seriously, Mpreg, Other, Sequel, baby snatching, pride month, pride month special
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 14:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19133965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BartonandBishop/pseuds/BartonandBishop
Summary: This is a pride month special. If you somehow happened across this I would go back and read the first in the series because it will make way more sense. Saying that, this still doesn’t make a ton of sense but that’s a theme that runs through this fanfiction. I hope y’all like it





	The Birth

Dobby had never experienced such pain before. Giving birth felt almost like when you kill your dog in Minecraft, but not as painful. Dobby could feel the child coming, it would be there soon.  
Iggy Pop looked on with shock. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know how to help Dobby? Everyone else was just as confused as Iggy Pop. Only Gollum was acting differently. Gollum was racing around the room trying to bite the others and whispering to himself riddles. Every few sentences, Gollum would say something like- “My Precious is in trouble,” or “My Precious is in pain.” It made Iggy Pop so sad to see Gollum in such a state of hysteria over Dobby. The sooner Dobby have birth, the better.  
“GOLLUM SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!” Carolina roared at the house elf that wasn’t a house elf. “Dobby is going to be fine!”  
“No,” Gollum growled. “They is lying to us and the Precious!!”  
Everyone grew silent. Dobby continued to groan in pain. Iggy Pop couldn’t stand it anymore. There had to be something they could do to help Dobby.  
Just then the doors to the guillotine room slammed open. A girl with dark hair stood at the door with an army of fluffy, furby-like creatures behind her.  
“I’m Marisol,” she said. “My Gremlins and I were sent by Thanos to help Dobby.” She took one look at Dobby and knew what she must do. “My Gremlins will have to give Dobby a C-section due to the child being extremely large. It will be painful, and to be completed successfully I need Dobby to be distracted.”  
“Why don’t we sing Dobby a song to soothe him?” 🅱️yrus suggested, echoing Iggy Pop’s thoughts. Damn, he missed his ex. But he had Hagrid now, and maybe Wyatt in the future....  
“Good idea!” Isabel responded. “I can play my kazoo while everyone else sings!” Marisol and her Gremlins started their preparations. Gizmo, the Gremlin, was going to perform the main surgery while Marisol supervised.  
“Please,” Dobby said between gasps of breath. “Sing me Johnny Johnny by Danny Gonzalez.” And so they began to sing-  
“I thought you were my real ride or die,  
You told me you would always be by my side,  
We had kids and a fridge with the sauces inside,  
But it turns out you were telling lies,  
All I ever wanted to be was a dad,  
But you took that right away and gave it all to Chad,  
He’s so ripped and so hot, now how can I compete with that?  
I’m Humpty Dumpty ‘cause you shattered me,  
Now let’s all together sad,  
Johnny Johnny do you miss me?(yes papa)  
Johnny Johnny have you moved on yet?(no papa)  
Promise me you won’t forget me  
If you ever want to see me just don’t eat your broc-co-li, oh  
You were everything and know we’re done,  
I bought you ball ice cream and fun,  
Come Johnny, just slide and come  
Back into my life ‘cause I miss my son, yeah......”

The song wasn’t helping Dobby. They needed a Plan Bee. That’s when Gollum, out of nowhere, revealed a gay pride flag and went to comfort Dobby. “You are strong my Precious,” He told his husband. “It is pride month so our love is even stronger.” He said. “I love you Gollum,” Dobby said his heart filled with gay love for Gollum. “I love you too,” Gollum said smiling. The two sat together draped in the flag.  
“The baby has been born!” Marisol exclaimed. Her Gremlins looked dead inside from cutting open Dobby. Gizmo passed the six foot tall baby to Gollum, who could barely carry him. The child had a long snout and buggy eyes that resembled a snail, and a stupid smile. “We are going to name him Jar Jar Binks,” the two new parents said.  
Just then, Gizmo jumped up and yeeted baby Jar Jar from Dobby and Gollum. He raced away with the child and handed him to Marisol. “You must earn your child back!” She said. “Thanos will make you fight for your child back!” Everyone was horrified, Dobby was sobbing. Then Marisol snapped.


End file.
